If you haven't been staying up with what's been going on in my life, on April 14, 2016 my dad died. That's still hard to say, it feels like I'm ripping off a scab every time. a month before that I sliced my foot open with a door. (don't ask I just have bad luck) Because of my foot I was on crutches for two weeks until it started to heal enough that I could walk on it. immediately following that I got sick with a mystery illness. It turned out to be bronchitis and the medicine that the doctor gave me made me even sicker than before, I couldn't hold down food for more than ten minutes. During the middle of this weird sickness that I was having we realized that time was short with my dad. Me, Matthew, my boyfriend, and Ellie, my best friend drove to the hospital in Pensacola where we met my Mom and Sister. During this whole time all I could think about were the times when I resented my parents for grounding me or not letting me go out with my friends. Those three hours to the hospital were the longest three hours of my life.
If you know me well enough you know that I keep most of my emotions very private and honestly just knowing that I'm about to post this amount of emotion for everybody to see publicly makes me anxious.
We met family and close family met us in the hospice facility and we waited, all night. We escaped from my sleeping mother and made a Krispy Kreme trip around 12:30 am and I had my final breakdown with my mom in the room. Early that morning he passed, the two hours after that were probably the hardest hours I've ever gone through. Seeing people in the waiting room knowing that what I was feeling was soon to overcome them through the loss of a loved one made me sick to my stomach. Nobody should ever have to feel this.
Loosing my dad at 19 was something I never expected to have happen to me. We always think "that can't happen to me it's impossible" nothing is impossible. Honestly I'm writing this post in the middle of my english class so that I can't sit in my bed and stop writing, because what I'm about to say needs to be said.
"The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness does not overcome the light." John 1:5
I'm not the type of person that has a Bible verse for everything but my mother is; I've called her many times at 2 am or later having panic attacks and freak outs where it's hit me that my life has changed. It's important to remember that life is going to really suck sometimes, and that's okay. Take every day you're given with others a blessing because you don't know when it will be yours or their last day.
Know that there is a plan for your life, maybe not your plan but a greater one. You will never be deserted, and when life gets tough know that it will ultimately get better don't let the darkness of life dim the light of your life.
As for me and my mom we're doing okay, life isn't the same but we're getting through it together. We definitely appreciate each other more and more everyday.
Thank you to everybody that has provided kind words and prayers, we appreciate every one of them.
I hope you choose to live by John 1:5 like I have, even if you aren't religious then just live by the idea of light overcoming darkness. Sometimes life throws water balloons at you just have to deal with the wet hair and runny mascara.
