I'm seventeen, kids are not in my near future for sure, but part of me having this blog is so that I can look back on it when I do have kids to help them learn from my mistakes. We are so blessed to be in a time where we are able to record things and not have to worry about loosing it in a jumble of papers.
Here is what I want to say to my future daughter, assuming that I'm blessed with one someday..
1. In case I forget what it feels like to be distraught and seventeen I want you to know that there will come a time when you feel yourself deteriorate into nothing. That is totally okay, it happens. You must go through the struggle to find your strength. I won't let you go through it on your own but you must learn on your own. Trust me I will always be there for you if you need help.
2. If it's 3 AM and you find yourself in a state of complete despair please don't turn to alcohol to drown your demons, they can swim and they will. Climb into my bed and I will rub your back until they've fallen asleep. I refuse to be oblivious to your problems.
3.The hours between 12 AM and 6AM have an unavoidable way of being either the best hours or the worst. You will be on top of the world, or underneath it. Find a song that soothes your heart back to ease and please don't forget that you are human, it's okay to feel pain that means you're alive. Just breathe it's going to be okay.
4. Your mental health comes before school every single time. If it's midnight and you are too sad to move I will go out and buy you a carton of Ben and Jerry's. If I feel your hands shake and your heart beat out of your chest turn on the song that brings you to your happy place and slip back to sleep. if you fail a test don't worry, it will not cost you a trip to medical school.
5. One day you will meet a boy; he will make your heart flutter. You will feel butterflies inhabit your lungs and stomach, flowers will sprout out of the darkest parts of your mind. Seeing him will feel like fireworks at Disney World. One day these feelings might leave you and you will understand why they name tropical storms after people. You will want to die, please remember that everything is temporary. Then refer to number 4 on this list.
6. When you're walking along the street or driving to school and you see a homeless man with holes in his pant legs, a full beard covered in dirt please buy him a meal. Go out of your way to do it, it's alright to be late to school for this reason. It's okay if you're late for curfew, this will solidify that I have raised you right. Don't do it because you think it would make me happy, do it because it will make you happy.
7. Know that when I say "I love You" that I mean it differently than when a boy would say it to you. Know that I Love you Means that I would lay down everything to keep you safe and to make you happy. Anybody can say the words but few can mean it.
8. Never hate yourself, you were beautifully and wonderfully made. You were made in Gods image and you are the best thing that has or will every happen to me. Know that you can always come to me when your skin isn't clear and your body isn't perfect to society's standards. Know that you are beautiful to me. Thinking that you are beautiful is the only thing that matters.
9. Know that you can do anything you set your mind to. You can rule the world, you can be a mom, you can finish school. You can do everything. I will never push you to do something you hate, anything you want is yours to have if you work hard enough for it.
10. Lastly, always know that you are beautiful and loved. The world will tell you other things about how to fix yourself to be "perfect." Know that you are already perfect, that you are loved by many people. know that you can always talk to me and I will bring you to the the happy places in life.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Thursday, September 4, 2014
When You Come Home.
I've lived in an Air Force Community my entire life. It's come with perks, like always having 150 airmen behind your back when you need them, but it's also come with disadvantages, like attending more than my fair share of funerals. I hate to get things off to a sad start but it's true, since I was little I've had to attend more than my fair share of military funerals. Although I never lost a parent or sibling in combat, I've seen first hand what it's like to loose somebody.
During DYW boot camp week while doing our talents my Secret Sister Jackie was super nervous about her talent portion. Honestly I thought she was being dramatic about the whole thing at first, then she did it. Everybody was in tears. It was to a song called "When You Come Home" (You can listen to it on Youtube here.) Honestly it hit home for a lot of us.
My mother made a deal with the commander when I was little to never get orders to move again in trade for many tours of duty. These tours lasted anywhere from 3 to 9 months. My mom was gone a lot, she was fighting for things that I had no idea about. The only thing I knew was that my mom got to "Travel the world". Well traveling the world in a different sense, she was in anywhere from combat zones in Iraq, to desk jobs in Yemen and Pakistan. My mother developed a love for her job and a pretty Rad tan.
There is always one thing that I will never forget, when I was about 7 My Mother was on a Tour of Duty, she called every night at 8:30 my time so that I could talk to her right before bed. One night she didn't call. Of course my dad thought nothing of it, it's just one night no biggie. actually to me it was a huge biggie. This night could probably be classified as my first "All niter". Did not sleep a wink until the next morning, waiting for that call. Of course this probably sounds way to dramatic for a 7 year old's brain, but hey, it was our thing.
Turns out my mom didn't call that night because she was moving camps and didn't have phone access. That is one feeling that I will never forget, being so scared that something happened. I can't imagine how it would be to have that feeling every night.
A few weeks later, my mom came home.
Please, I beg you, the next time you see somebody in uniform say a prayer for them and their safekeeping along with their family. The next time that you see something on the news about a war zone with Americans on the ground, remember that those people fighting are there for your saftey, and your rights. They are somebody's Father, Brother, Sister, Son, Mother, Daughter, Friend, Husband, Wife, they are somebody's whole world.
but of course in true military fashion, once you get settled it's time to move again..
I'm working my best on getting the video of Jackie's dance to it on here, bare with me...
During DYW boot camp week while doing our talents my Secret Sister Jackie was super nervous about her talent portion. Honestly I thought she was being dramatic about the whole thing at first, then she did it. Everybody was in tears. It was to a song called "When You Come Home" (You can listen to it on Youtube here.) Honestly it hit home for a lot of us.
My mother made a deal with the commander when I was little to never get orders to move again in trade for many tours of duty. These tours lasted anywhere from 3 to 9 months. My mom was gone a lot, she was fighting for things that I had no idea about. The only thing I knew was that my mom got to "Travel the world". Well traveling the world in a different sense, she was in anywhere from combat zones in Iraq, to desk jobs in Yemen and Pakistan. My mother developed a love for her job and a pretty Rad tan.
There is always one thing that I will never forget, when I was about 7 My Mother was on a Tour of Duty, she called every night at 8:30 my time so that I could talk to her right before bed. One night she didn't call. Of course my dad thought nothing of it, it's just one night no biggie. actually to me it was a huge biggie. This night could probably be classified as my first "All niter". Did not sleep a wink until the next morning, waiting for that call. Of course this probably sounds way to dramatic for a 7 year old's brain, but hey, it was our thing.
Turns out my mom didn't call that night because she was moving camps and didn't have phone access. That is one feeling that I will never forget, being so scared that something happened. I can't imagine how it would be to have that feeling every night.
A few weeks later, my mom came home.
Please, I beg you, the next time you see somebody in uniform say a prayer for them and their safekeeping along with their family. The next time that you see something on the news about a war zone with Americans on the ground, remember that those people fighting are there for your saftey, and your rights. They are somebody's Father, Brother, Sister, Son, Mother, Daughter, Friend, Husband, Wife, they are somebody's whole world.
 |
| I will never forget this picture, it's probably my favorite one of any that's ever been taken. |
I'm working my best on getting the video of Jackie's dance to it on here, bare with me...
Photographs
I know I've been posting a lot about high school ending but its honestly the only thing on my mind right now..
We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time's forever frozen still
- Ed Sheeran Photograph
It's honestly no secret that I'm in love with Ed's music.. He's amazing in every sense of the word. Recently I've been listening to this song on repeat (Photograph) Its made me think about how one day when we are old and grey the only thing that we will have left are photographs. We will only have the hundreds of selfies taken on our phones at football games. the awkward pictures that our parents made us take at homecoming with our dates, the always pleasurable first-day-running-out-the-door photo. One day all of this will be just a memory, we won't be able to tell you exact dates or what the photographer was wearing, we will on'y be able to see what's captured inside of the film. (Sorry I'm cheesy and like to take hundreds of pictures with my Polaroid instant camera)
One day we will see pictures of us dancing and having fun, and pictures of us when we just failed a test. These pictures are what make us who we are. Honestly if I could go back and do one thing over with the past eleven years of school and seventeen years of life I'd want to take more pictures.
Take pictures of everything. the cool potato chip you found in your bag of pretzels, the weird pants your tried on but never bought. The boy you've liked since 7th grade, every day you see your best friend. When your dog/cat does something cute.
Take as many as you can because one day they will be all that you remember.
Also, don't trash the embarrassing pictures from Seventh grade, we all have them, they make you who you are. Even if it is bad Highlights and braces....
We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time's forever frozen still
- Ed Sheeran Photograph
It's honestly no secret that I'm in love with Ed's music.. He's amazing in every sense of the word. Recently I've been listening to this song on repeat (Photograph) Its made me think about how one day when we are old and grey the only thing that we will have left are photographs. We will only have the hundreds of selfies taken on our phones at football games. the awkward pictures that our parents made us take at homecoming with our dates, the always pleasurable first-day-running-out-the-door photo. One day all of this will be just a memory, we won't be able to tell you exact dates or what the photographer was wearing, we will on'y be able to see what's captured inside of the film. (Sorry I'm cheesy and like to take hundreds of pictures with my Polaroid instant camera)
One day we will see pictures of us dancing and having fun, and pictures of us when we just failed a test. These pictures are what make us who we are. Honestly if I could go back and do one thing over with the past eleven years of school and seventeen years of life I'd want to take more pictures.
Take pictures of everything. the cool potato chip you found in your bag of pretzels, the weird pants your tried on but never bought. The boy you've liked since 7th grade, every day you see your best friend. When your dog/cat does something cute.
Take as many as you can because one day they will be all that you remember.
Also, don't trash the embarrassing pictures from Seventh grade, we all have them, they make you who you are. Even if it is bad Highlights and braces....
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